Let me just say the number out loud: over 200 applications.
Not 20. Not 50. Over two hundred. I have been tracking them in a spreadsheet because at some point it stopped feeling like job hunting and started feeling like a data collection exercise. And here is what that data looks like right now:
- 5 direct rejections - at least they had the decency to say no
- 2 interviews - both went nowhere
- The rest? Silence. Complete, total, deafening silence.
I do not know what is worse getting rejected or just never hearing back at all. At least a rejection is a closed loop. Ghosting just leaves you wondering if your email even landed, if your resume got read, if you exist to these companies at all.
I Did Everything Right. Or So I Thought.
I am not someone who sent out a generic resume and hoped for the best. I actually put in the work.
I optimized my LinkedIn. Updated the headline, rewrote the about section, added every relevant project, made sure my profile picture was clean. I read the guides. I followed the advice. I did the thing.
I rewrote my resume from scratch. The version I am sending out right now is tight no fluff, real numbers, real impact. Voting platform that handled 5,000+ votes. Registration system that processed 300+ applications in launch month. A capstone project I am leading with an actual client. I am not padding it. These are real things I built.
I revamped this entire website. New layout, better performance, cleaner presentation of my work. I even put a literal banner at the top of every page that says I am actively looking for a software engineering internship with a direct link to my resume. A banner. On my own website. Because I did not know what else to do.
And still. Mostly silence.
The Part That Actually Hurts
Here is the thing that gets me. I am not starting from zero. I have been working as a part-time web developer since Grade 12. I have shipped production systems for real users. I am leading a capstone team building a clinical system for an actual clinic.
That is the part that breaks me a little. Not the rejections. I can handle rejection. It is the silence. It is the feeling that the system is not even looking. That somewhere between me hitting submit and a recruiter opening their inbox, I just disappear.
I keep asking myself: what more can I do? I have the skills. I have the projects. I have the experience. I have the portfolio. I have the banner on my website, for crying out loud. What is the missing piece?
And honestly? I do not know. I genuinely do not know.
This Market is Broken and Nobody Wants to Say It
I wrote a blog post a few days ago about how AI is eating the entry-level market. I still believe everything I said there. But this post is not about AI. This post is about the hiring pipeline itself, and how it is failing students like me.
Companies post internship openings. Students apply. ATS filters most of them out automatically. The ones that survive get skimmed by a recruiter for maybe six seconds. And then, if you are lucky, you get a rejection. If you are not, you get nothing.
Two hundred applications. That is two hundred times I put my name, my work, my time into a form and hit submit. Two hundred times I hoped someone on the other side would actually look. And the return on that investment is five rejections and two interviews that went nowhere.
I am not saying I deserve a job just because I applied. I am saying the process is exhausting and demoralizing in a way that nobody really prepares you for. The career fairs do not tell you this. The professors do not tell you this. The LinkedIn posts about "just keep applying" definitely do not tell you this.
I Am Sad. I Am Frustrated. And I Am Still Here.
I want to be honest about how I am feeling right now because I think a lot of students are feeling the same thing and nobody is saying it out loud.
I am sad. I worked hard for three years and I cannot get a foot in the door. That hurts.
I am frustrated. I did the optimization. I did the revamp. I did everything the internet told me to do and it is not working. That is maddening.
And I am scared, a little. Not of failing I have failed at things before and survived. I am scared of running out of time. OJT season does not last forever. My graduation year is on my resume and companies see it and move on. The window is not infinite.
But I am still here. Still sending applications. Still building. Still writing these posts because at least it is something I can control when everything else feels out of my hands.
I do not have a lesson for you at the end of this one. I do not have a framework or a five-step plan. I just have a spreadsheet with 200+ rows and a lot of empty cells in the "response" column.
If you are going through the same thing I see you. It is not just you. This market is genuinely hard right now and your silence-to-application ratio is not a reflection of your worth.
And if you are a recruiter who somehow ended up reading this: my resume is right there in the banner. I promise I am worth more than six seconds.